The Fabulously Unfit Girl's Guide To Health & Wellness: "fix"er upper
Definition: Something I no longer have.
Alternately, a company that creates and distributes nutritional shakes, diet plans, and hard ass at home workouts.
THE DROP OF DOOM.
Definition: Something I did every day for a week after starting this program.
Alternately, the act of bracing oneself on the side of the tub beside the toilet, dropping in pain, and hoping for the best in an attempt to pee while suffering with post workout legs.
... ... ...
Because I've gotten myself into some commitments that I'm sure require some element of physical fitness, regardless of what the class descriptions might say, I decided to do a bit of leg work (literally) right where I was - in my living room. Plus, I feel accomplished having got the jump on all those "resolutioners" about to hit the gyms with it being the new year and all. Eat my dust resolutioners! Except not actually... because I spent far more of my holidays drinking wine than working out... and I'm fine with that.
I borrowed the super duper popular Beachbody program 21 Day Fix (because lord knows I don't own it), and closed up all my windows and blinds - because let's face it, people look pretty geeky doing at home workouts and ain't nobody needs to be busted by the neighbour whilst jumping jack-ing beside their couch with their dogs watching. I'm not saying that happened... but it didn't NOT happen.
For those unfamiliar, the 21 Day Fix is a program designed by a tiny, fit lady who promises you the body of your dreams if you follow the regimented eating plan (which involves a lot of little colour coded Tupperware containers), and the accompanying workouts. Now, because I have zero desire to count out grapes and carrot sticks a dozen at a time into tiny blue and red bowls, I focused only on the workouts.
The workouts are 7 different programs, one for each day of the week focusing on anything from cardio and strength to Pilates and yoga.
You know the season premier of the Biggest Loser every year when they take all the people and make them work out in the first episode and it's so painful to watch because they have no endurance and zero range of motion? Then they all cry and barf? That was totally me the entire first week of this program... Neat. Get it, girl. #fitspo
I know so many people that all say the same thing about these workouts:
1) They are hard but only last 30 minutes.
2) They are effective and you will notice how quickly you become stronger.
3) Just follow Kat.
Kat is a nice lady who shows all the modified (read: easier) versions of the exercises for the fabulously unfit.
Spoiler alert: Sometimes I couldn't keep up with Kat. Kat is much stronger than I am. I wish there had been a modified modifier.
All of the things everyone told me were true... the workouts are hard, but you can take them at your own pace and get out what you put in. After one week I was already stronger and more capable in all my workouts, not just these ones. They are over in 30 minutes and you can get on with your life, so that's a perk... And all jokes aside, although I did use Kat for some moves, I didn't for all of them - she is an awesome option that makes this more appealing for all levels.
Would I do this forever and always? Hell no. I didn't even do the whole 21 days... Wanna know why? Because I don't want to do anything for 21 days straight. Not even sit on a beach and drink margaritas... (Because realistically, I would end up looking like a leather ball glove and die of liver failure.)
I also think working out every single day for 21 days without a break is batsh*t crazy. For people who can, that's awesome and I admire you. But sometimes I'm busy, hungover, out of town, sick of jumping around in my living room, or just plain tired and lazy. Are these excuses? Yes. Is this reality? Hell yes. #sorrynotsorry
Although this is something I wouldn't do every day as a rule, this is something I'm totally going to have around as an option. Recently, Beachbody released the "Beachbody On Demand" app - which is pretty much a terrible version of Netflix in that it only offers workouts. However, I can pick and choose the workouts I like best from it and use it when I don't want to hit the treadmill or a class, if it's cold AF outside and my living room is the place to be. You will likely find me planking along with these workouts, while my beagle tries to lick my face... Just not every day for 21 days.
Happy new year my fabulously unfit friends, and stay tuned for more in this series!